CAPE TOWN — A local Springbok supporter owns three official jerseys and has never played a single minute of rugby, sources confirmed on Thursday. The man, who can name the starting front row of the 2019 World Cup final, has never been inside a scrum and has no plans to enter one. His jerseys — home, alternate, and a heritage edition purchased "for the collection" — are worn exclusively to braais, sports bars, and the couch. He speaks with authority on rucking technique he has only witnessed. Asked if he might play, the man laughed, cited his knees, and opened another beer. The knees have never played either.