CAPE TOWN — A queue at the Home Affairs office achieved full sentience shortly before 09:00 on Thursday, becoming aware of itself, its length, and the slow horror of its own existence. Presented with the gift of consciousness and free will, the queue immediately joined another queue. Officials say it selected the wrong counter with an instinct that felt almost human. The queue now waits to be told it is missing a document. Witnesses report it has already begun to shuffle forward by two centimetres every eleven minutes. It is not expected to be helped today. Nobody is.